Snarky glovebox note credited for stolen car’s return

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Portland, OR– A woman is crediting a letter left in her glovebox for the safe return of her stolen car.  She says that she’s a “mostly-broke 32 year old woman” and buying an even fancier car isn’t in her near future. So she came up with a plan that would hopefully have her car returned if it was stolen.

She posted pictures of both the letter and envelope to Reddit with the headline, “I left a snarky note in the glovebox of my Honda the last time it was stolen. Just recovered the car from the most recent theft. They read my letter and I think it worked; they ditched it in front of a house this time (YAY).”

She says that the notecard with her number on it was left sitting on her seat, so she believes her plan worked.

“It’s still parked at the spot it was ditched, with glass on the ground. I did not claim my car was definitely recovered because of the note. Maybe it had nothing to do with it. All I know is was open, on the passenger seat, when I got to the car.” she posted to Reddit.

She said that she planned for this situation a few years ago, and even posted a draft of the letter to Facebook in 2013.

This is a transcript of the letter in her glove box:

Hello! If you’re reading this, you are probably stealing my car. I’m a nice person and likely would have given you a ride, but obviously we’re past that.

I would love to afford a car that doesn’t get stolen and burglarized all the time, but I’m broke and this is what I’m stuck with. So, you got me. Again.

You’re not going to get into trouble for stealing my car. As long as you don’t (mess) around and kill a pedestrian, you’ll just leave this somewhere and go about your business. Nobody investigates this tomfoolery.

One quick favor: please do not leave my car somewhere it will get towed. If I have to deal with one more impound lot holding my stolen Honda for ransom, I am going to lose my mind. And my car, because I can’t afford to keep bailing it out of car jail. If I had any money I would just go buy a goddamned car that wasn’t constantly getting stolen in the first place.

Please just leave my old piece of s### car in a neighborhood or something. There’s a note in this envelope; just stick it on the dash or under the wiper. A passerby will see it eventually and call me and then I can come get my car. No cops, no questions asked; I’m not even mad at you.

It’s win-win: I don’t have to deal with police reports, insurance claims, and tow trucks, and you don’t have to feel like a jerk for ruining the month of a nice person.

There are countless safe places to leave this thing. Drive the car, take my first aid kit and emergency supplies in the trunk (my stereo is worthless) and just leave this (car) in front of someone’s house when you’re done with it.

Thank you. Enjoy your ride.

PS if you don’t mind committing another misdemeanor tonight, feel free to go throw a brick through the window of (redacted) Towing in Vancouver. They are literally the worst. Thanks. Have a good night.

Read the actual note here. Some language in the letter may be offensive to some readers.

She also found a jacket in her car and posted a picture to her fans on Reddit.