Lititz Borough Police announce complimentary continental breakfast with overnight stay in holding cell as April Fools’ Joke

LANCASTER COUNTY, Pa.– The Lititz Borough Police Department has made an announcement of the implementation of a complimentary continental breakfast with any overnight stay in one of the holding cells.

Before you read any further, yes it is an APRIL FOOLS’ joke.

Here is the message the Lititz Borough Police Department posted:

The Lititz Borough Police Department is pleased to announce the implementation of a new amenity.  Beginning today a overnight stay in one of the holding cells will include a complimentary continental breakfast. According to Police, ” The department’s Yelp reviews have been declining recently so we’ve been looking at different ways to improve our rating.”  The department has 108 reviews as of March 30th and a 2.5 star rating.  “We used to have a 4 star rating, and now we’re at 2 stars” said one officer who spoke on a condition of anonymity because he is not authorized to speak to the media.  Police say that the menu will change daily and include hot and cold items.  The addition of breakfast is something the Borough has been contemplating for some time.  Police say that the declining Yelp and other reviews had significantly decreased the amount of arrest reservations they’ve been receiving.  “We understand that people have a choice in their arrest accommodations and we hope this program will bring move visitors into our facilities,” said police officials. “I plan on booking my next arrest with Lititz, the continental breakfast is such a wonderful idea.  I’m often hangry after a night in the lock up, so this is perfect for me,” said a Township resident. The police hope this innovative program will bring their reviews and bookings up so they live up to there coolest small town mantra.   Before you start writing any angry emails, DMs, or phone calls the LBPD requests that you please take note the date.

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